Why do people still believe in the same myth of true love?
Heena Miller says she has always believed in the idea of a civil mate.
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| Why do people still believe in the same myth of true love? |
He remembers hearing as a child that seahorses have a lifelong companion. He liked the idea that maybe someone like that would be reserved for him too. At the age of ten he was introduced to his sister's friend Sam at a party. He remembers that he was holding her hand on the most dangerous swing and his sister was teasing him that he would marry Sam.
It's a bit embarrassing for me recalls Hina Miller 45 of Birmingham, UK. But I really fell in love that day.
I told my friends on the school bus the following Monday about a boy older than me who was holding my hand.
Hyena's next meeting with the boy was when she was 18 years old. And the relationship with him began to warm up. A few weeks later Sam told Hina that he too had fallen in love with her. The couple got married before Hina's 20th birthday.
The promises were made easily we were made to live together so what a wait he-said. There was no reason why we shouldnot get married because we were each other's civil mates.
The idea that a specific spouse has been created for you is found in many societies and according to a survey a staggering number of people believe it.
There are a number of reasons why people believe this and over the last fifty years the number of people with this idea has grown.
Experts say that whether we believe in a civil mate or not it has to do with our personal circumstances and psychology & it is possible that people who are hoping to meet the person who is destined to meet them from the beginning of their relationship. Are destroying
Historical concept of Civil Mate
The Greek philosopher Plato wrote that at one time human beings had four arms and four legs. They say that the god Zeus cut man in two as a reward for his arrogance and now it is written in man's destiny that he should go around the earth looking for his other part.
Plato wrote this in 385 BC. Since then, our thinking about love and human relationships may have moved on, but the idea of life partner still exists and has been found in various civilizations and societies throughout human history.
In some Hindu traditions it is thought that some people are related to your Atma' or soul. In the Yiddish language the term 'Basharat is used for a couple written in destiny the closest meaning of which is destiny.
Maulana Rumi a thirteenth century poet and Islamic scholar introduced the idea that lovers do not meet in the end but exist somewhere within each other. Since then apart from Romeo and Juliet Heathcliff and Kathy Western literature has been filled with examples of lovers who were made for each other.
Although the concept of civil mate has existed for thousands of years the term was introduced in the 19th century. The first recorded use of it is in a letter to Samuel Taylor Coleridge in 1822.
In the letter he wrote Happy marriage you must have got your civil mate.
Brad Volkos, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and professor of sociology says the idea of a civil mate has become more popular since the 1970s when the era we call My Decade or My Decade began. And the tradition of individuality has changed our attitude towards relationships.
People are now looking for a relationship that will bring them happiness and satisfaction. Economic prosperity in-West reinforced this attitude as people became more economically stable and stopped relying on marriage for economic security.
Instead of realistic and practical thinking, the element of civil mate expressing love began to prevail in the decision of marriage and people's expectations became more psychological and less material.
At the age of eighteen he found a real life partner
Maturity in the Civil Material Quest
There are many reasons to be skeptical of the idea that a perfect person is made just for you. However most people do not stray far when looking for a partner most Americans marry someone from the same state with whom they went to high school or college.
On a land of about eight billion people it is a coincidence that many people's spiritual companions meet only in the adjoining classroom. Yet the idea of a spiritual companion persists in many societies and at different times. What is it about the concept of a real partner that makes people so attractive?
Bradley Oneshi an associate professor of religion at Skidmore College USA has used his observations in intellectual history to try to understand the enduring nature of spiritual myths. They believe that our desire to believe in the companions of the Spirit is natural.
Coleridge's own life was not so pleasant. He had to get married due to social pressure and spent most of his life away from his wife and eventually they were separated forever.
Despite Coleridge's failure to find a real partner the idea persisted and grew in popularity especially in the decades to come.
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